What happens after?

I had a nightmare. It is rare for me to have nightmares. Even as a child I can only think of a few times I went crying to my parents’ room to seek comfort, to seek the reality that would put aside the fear.

Nightmares – the stuff of our imaginations and, more than anything, fear of the unknown.

In my grown-up life the nightmares flee before reason. I ask first – is this possible? If the answer is “no” the problem is solved, and the fear is gone but if the answer is “yes” then I ask – “What might I do to avoid this possibility?” In recent times there is also the problem that I can do nothing to avoid the possibility so then I must ask “What happens after?” 

What happens after is something that occupies my thoughts and my nightmares these days. 

If I get sick and die does not trouble me as I know what happens after! But if I get sick I might have difficulties recovering both health wise and economically – what happens after?

If my children are affected because there is illness in the family or lost income – what happens after?

When we come out on the other side – what happens after?

That last one is the stuff of nightmares. I want to be in charge of my own future but can do little and all we hear about is what is happening now. What happens after?

For now, all I can do is act cautiously to avoid any illness on my own part, encourage everyone I know to also act cautiously and pray someone has or is working on a plan for What happens after.

Author: bdeshaw

Mom, Grandma, Puppy raiser for Canine Companions for Independence

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