There is a rainbow out there

I’m in an interesting place right now. I’m 67. I am in relatively good health. I have two wonderful daughters, two grandchildren and am surrounded by loving caring people. Life is good! I say this with regularity. Sometimes with the exclamation point and other times without it but always Life is Good.

The ‘interesting place’ is because I am a widow. My husband died just three weeks ago. He was five months younger so one hardly expects to be a widow at 67. His death was not unexpected as he was diagnosed with liver cancer in February of 2016. His health had not been good for sometime but it was a shock when we got the diagnosis.

So now I’m in this odd spot. Life is good and life goes on. With Glen’s encouragement, I’d been looking at what ‘life goes on’ would look like and now am trying to figure out exactly what that means. I do have some plans –

Not Moving

I could leave Wesley and move to an apartment somewhere but I am comfortable in my little studio. I like the area. I love my church and my church family.  I appreciate having meals prepared and served, housekeeping every two weeks, flat laundry done, freedom to take part in things and go places as it suits me so I’m not moving.

Keep Working

Along with not moving, I intend to keep working at St. Columba. I love doing it and it gives me something out and about at least 4 hours a week. I do not forsee any change to this in the future. As long as they will have me I will keep doing it.

Get Moving

I stopped going to the pool as scheduling did not fit with my visits to Glen. I intend to start going again and to add back in the walks and other exercising that has dropped by the wayside of late.

Do a fun thing

Glen and I talked many times of a trip – generally a cruise of some kind. I want very much to do some such thing. I think sometimes of a themed cruise like quilting or based around some other interest but also have dreamed of seeing Cornwall where my Mom’s Dad was born. I’m not in a hurry but definitely want to do something.

Keep on keeping on

Much won’t change – I still play my flute regularly, knit, practice piano although I’ve temporarily stopped lessons. I need to settle better into a practice habit so I do not presume on Leslie’s time. I still am the computer guru for many folks which suits me fine! I am still active in things at Wesley many of which will be easier as my time is just that my time.

Think about it

Mostly I’m going to take whatever time it takes to see my life settling into a new pattern. This experience has changed me and I expect to see a new me pushing out on the other side of this grief. I do not expect the grief to ever go away but the storm will pass and I see, through the rain, the rainbow waiting.

Author: bdeshaw

Mom, Grandma, Puppy raiser for Canine Companions for Independence

One thought on “There is a rainbow out there”

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