Not quite New Years and I am not calling this a resolution!
For my sanity and the sake of my marriage I have to change how I interact with my Mom.
I’ve made some changes already-
I go down with an idea of how long I will be there and a reason to leave. This was what my brother, Steve, did. He called Mom nearly everyday but did so 10 minutes before his bus was expected or 10 minutes before Mom would be going to breakfast.
I take paper and pencil. If she can’t hear me I write for her to read otherwise I start ‘yelling’, in her view, which is really me talking very loud in an attempt for her to hear me. She assumes I am mad at her which is simple frustration. Along with this I’m taking charge of her hearing aid batteries. I dislike trying to track down someone on the floor if her batteries are dead and they have not changed them which again is frustrating and again Mom sees it as my being mad at her.
For the future starting yesterday I have set an appointment in my calendar to go see her pretty much everyday. There are days I cannot for one reason or another but I can take time most days. I will take my knitting sometimes but others I will take my flute. I need to practice and have knitting projects so can make good use of the time for everybody! I need to help her organize her address book so sometimes we will work on this or I will help her write cards to people. She says she wants to but is frequently too tired or has some other reason to not do it.
I’m going to make arrangements to fetch Ruth to come visit. Both ladies could use the interaction!
Of course all these have to fit in my schedule of spending time with my husband or he will get lonely but without being proactive the issues with Mom can make me very hard to live with so ….. Balance in all things!